1)  Let the teacher know how much your student/child has loved being in her classroom and how much they are going to be missed.  Just a heads up gives the teacher the incentive to help with the transition.

2)  Have your child make a gift for the teacher such as a homemade card, craft or some goodies that both of you whipped up in the kitchen together.

3)  Ask the teacher if it is OK if your student/child visits her when he comes back to school in the upcoming year.

4)  Try to have your child meet his/her new teacher before school is out for the summer.  That way, they know what they have to look forward to for the next school year as well.

Disadvantaged children tend to lag behind affluent students in math at the onset of school, and this study found that most low-income children don’t have board games at home.

The children in the study, 124 preschoolers in the federal Head Start program, used a board game with a spinner and took turns moving pieces along a row of numbered squares.  They played four times, for 15-20 minutes each session, over a two-week period.  At the end of the study, the preschoolers who participated could better identify and county numbers and had a sense of which numbers hold a greater value.

“Parents and preschool teachers should know that playing number board games increases young children’s numerical understanding and lays a solid fountain for future learning of mathematics as well.” says Carnegie Mellon Prof. Robert Siegler, coauthor of the study.  –Eddy Ramirez

Thus the most important rule in handling tantrums is this:

Ignore the behavior, but don’t ignore your child.

Q-tip

Challenging your child by saying, “No laughing,” may be a good way to transform anger into a burst of the giggles. Yet although this is a very useful trick at times, this approach also slights your toddler’s anger. So if you decide to diffuse your child’s anger in this way, be sure to take the time to encourage her to talk about her anger with you afterward, when she has calmed down.

What is your toddler trying to communicate to you through her tantrum? Anger? Frustration? Ask your child what’s wrong and at the same time, encourage her to calm down enough so that you can help her. Let your child know that if she’s frustrated with something, you can’t possibly help her unless you know what’s wrong-but that you can’t understand her when she tries to talk to you in the midst of a hysterical tantrum.

Don’t ignore your child’s expressions of anger. In fact, if they are appropriate, encourage them. Suppressed anger can become even more explosive. So don’t encourage your toddler to rein in her anger or frustration. Instead, teach your child to express it in non-destructive or non-hurtful ways. Allow and encourage your child to express anger and frustration:

• in words;
• by punching a pillow or mattress;
• by slamming clay around on a cutting board;
• by banging a drum;
• by running around outside;
• by doing something brief, loud, and angry: letting out a “primal scream,” yelling, dancing, or singing about her anger; or
• by creating an angry work of art.

The lessons you teach your child about expressing anger and frustration may seem to have little impact during her third year—and perhaps even her fourth. Your toddler (and later, your preschooler) will no doubt still have angry outbursts, violent episodes, and uncontrollable tantrums at least occasionally. In time, however, your child will absorb these lessons. And learning how to handle anger without becoming destructive or hurtful is an invaluable lesson for anyone, child or adult.

Excerpted from The Complete Idiot’s Guide to Parenting a Preschooler and Toddler, Too © 1997 by Keith M. Boyd, M.D., and Kevin Osborn.

Kindergarten has evolved from a largely social, developmental environment to an academic one governed by state curriculum standards, educators say.  To ensure children are ready for kindergarten, preschools have been adjusting their own teaching strategies.

Kindergarten teachers now ask children entering their classrooms to have skills such as:

• Writing their own name
• Counting to 10 or higher
• Reciting the alphabet
• Sitting down and listening when instructed
• Using Scissors
• Recognizing basic shapes

Although many of us make individual goals for ourselves to start the New Year, making family goals is a very meaningful way to share your family’s values. This activity allows your child to have a hands-on role in your family’s decision-making process.

Materials needed:
· Paper
· Pen, pencil, or markers
· Post-it notes

What to Do:

Step One: Discuss what a goal is with your child. Tell her about goals you have set for yourself and why having goals is important to you. Be sure to give her concrete examples, as younger children will find this idea hard to follow.

Step Two: Discuss what a good goal for your family would be. (For example, you could decide to be more charitable to a neighbor or friend in need. Or, you could decide to just be more patient with each other.) Let your kids help brainstorm a list of goals to choose from. Remind them that there are no bad suggestions when you are brainstorming. Then set a family goal. You may decide on only one goal, or you may choose a few.

Step Three: Write your family goals on a piece of paper. Then, write the steps your family will need to take in order to reach the goal. Do this for each goal you have set. You may want to change goals every few months in order to keep them fresh.

Step Four: Post your goals on the family bulletin board or refrigerator. Every time a family member achieves a step toward a goal, write “Good Work” and the person’s name on a post-it, and stick it on the list. This will generate both positive feedback for your loved one and continued discussion about the goal.

Answer: It is absolutely not normal behavior for a preschooler to be making death threats to his peers on an daily basis. I’m surprised that preschool teachers with any training in child development would regard such behavior as “normal.” His mother is clearly in denial about his psychological well-being if she is unconcerned about his chronic, physically violent behavior and his death threats.

I would ask other concerned parents to meet with the head teacher and her staff to discuss what they plan to do about this boy. If they are steadfast in believing that there is nothing to worry about and that his behavior is perfectly normal, I would strongly consider placing your child in another preschool. A preschool staff who would not see this boy’s behavior as seriously destructive and alarming don’t possess the wisdom that I would demand of my child’s caretakers.

Carleton Kendrick has been in private practice as a family therapist and has worked as a consultant for more than 20 years. He has conducted parenting seminars on topics ranging from how to discipline toddlers to how to stay connected with teenagers. Kendrick has appeared as an expert on national broadcast media such as CBS, Fox Television Network, Cable News Network, CNBC, PBS, and National Public Radio. In addition, he’s been quoted in the New York Times, Washington Post, Chicago Tribune, Boston Globe, USA Today, Reader’s Digest, BusinessWeek, Good Housekeeping, Woman’s Day, and many other publications.

Holiday school breaks might mean hours of unmonitored time indoors for children–the perfect opportunity for kids to find trouble on the Internet.  Parents need to be technically savvy to protect their children.  Use filters or parental controls to limit access to particular sites.  Talk to your kids and monitor where they go online. 

Safety tips should be posted by the family computer and might include:

1. Never give out personal information, including name, address, phone number, school or parents’ names.
2. Ignore mean-spirited messages or those with vulgar words.
3. Never share your password with anyone–not even you best friend.

WHAT’S HOT

Just like Zoobooks, Zootles is full of animal fun. And Zootles is written to be shared with young children: pre-readers and beginning readers.

Each new issue delivers:

• A featured letter, phonetic sound, number, color or similar educational focus… concepts to encourage young scholars

• A wonderfully illustrated animal story for bedtime, story time or anytime

• Fun backyard games and challenges for beginning scientists

• Hidden pictures, mazes and activities to captivate little problem solvers

• Otto and Allie, a curious cartoon otter and his funny hedgehog sidekick

Do you kids suffer from discipline deficit disorder? (Hint: Symptoms include ‘the gimmes’ and a ‘me first’ attitude.) If you can’t say ‘No’ and stick to your guns, chances are they do, says psychologist David Walsh, whose recent book about the complaint has–to his shock–launched a burgeoning grass-roots movement to stamp it out. In Minnesota, Walsh’s home state, a “Say Yes to No” coalition of educators and PTA parents sent “tool kits” touting the book (No: Why Kids—of All Ages—Need to Hear It and Ways Parents Can Say It) to 2,500 principals before school began last week. Their next goal is to get it on the reading list of every child-tending grown-up in the state, sparking a sharing of war stories about how to tame “I want” behavior.

Walsh says he’s “overwhelmed” at the response, which inspired a rush to paperback four months ahead of schedule and a packed calendar of speaking engagements. School principals from Indiana, South Carolina, and several other states are getting set to work No into teacher training sessions. And at an annual gathering in October, more than 1,000 Boy Scout troop leaders from Minnesota and Wisconsin will be offered workshops on the guide, which equips grown-ups with sample dialogues for beating back all kinds of challenges. “It’s just such a readable, common-sense approach to raising self-reliant children,” says Joann Knuth, executive director of the Minnesota Association of Secondary School Principals.

Shared struggle. The child-parent struggle is older than the “my dog ate my homework” excuse, of course. But it’s exacerbated, says No, by 45 hours or so of screen time each week that plug “more, easy, fast, and fun” and by harried working parents’ craving for harmony when they’re home. “Large corporations trying to market to kids don’t make money off delayed gratification,” says Angela Duckworth, assistant professor of psychology at the University of Pennsylvania and mother of two youngsters. And given that everyone else’s parents allow a later curfew and violent video games, “there’s fear you’re going to say no and your child will turn against you,” says Rosie Loeffler-Kemp of Duluth, president of the Minnesota State Parent Teacher Association and mother of four. When parents read the book and see that this is a shared struggle, she believes, they’ll gain the necessary courage to convey their family values and set limits.

The payoff, says Walsh: kids with the ability to say “No” to themselves, plus patience, good judgment, and the cool to move on—without a meltdown—when they don’t get three desserts or an unchaperoned weekend at the beach. “How is it that [children have] a sense of who they are, what they can do, and what the world is about?” asks Madeline Levine, psychologist and author of The Price of Privilege: How Parental Pressure and Material Advantage Are Creating a Generation of Disconnected and Unhappy Kids. “They get that by internalizing parental prohibitions,” she says.

A related urge that parents are taught to squelch is the desire to intervene with a quick fix for every tough assignment or disappointment. A student who misses the year-end spelling prize because he chose not to study has an opportunity to develop thicker skin and learn an important lesson in self-discipline, for example—but not if Mom calls up to berate the teacher. “Parent involvement is critical, but I don’t see them wanting to let their kids experience consequences,” says Kim Westra, a fourth-grade teacher at Salem Hills Elementary in Inver Grove Heights, Minn., who makes independent work a huge focus in her classroom. Research published by Duckworth hints at one price. Self-discipline, she found, was a better predictor of academic success in eighth graders than IQ, measured by such factors as final grades, attendance, standardized test scores, and success at getting into a selective high school program.

Understanding the rationale for standing firm doesn’t necessarily make parenting choices easier. Westra and her husband, long proponents of the no-cable, bare-bones approach to television, have been deliberating whether or not to give in as their daughter approaches the social preteen years. “Does it take that big, huge plasma TV to get the kids over?” Westra wonders. The resounding response from parents of teenagers she has polled: Yes.

EASING THE PAIN
Putting your foot down firmly can hurt you as well as the kids. Here are a few ways to make “No!” less agonizing for everyone:

• Be realistic. If you learn about child development, you’ll set expectations kids can meet.
• Be consistent. When the lines you draw keep moving, anger and resistance are bound to result.
• Demonstrate. Saying “No” will be less of an issue if you model the generosity and patience you value.
• Don’t accept rudeness. Table the discussion if a child’s language or actions are discourteous.
• Partner with the teacher. Ask about expectations, and reinforce them to the extent that you can.
• Show warmth, too. Catch them being good.